The Sausage Incident
December 22nd, 2006We’ve had a bit of an incident. Muslim (and non-Muslim) readers - how would you have handled this?
Before we came to Ireland, I warned Abu Yasmin that he really did need to have a quiet chat with the in-laws, that Yasmin should not be fed any pork i.e. ham sandwiches, bacon, pork etc.  Abu Yasmin’s response was that “sure, they don’t really eat pork anyway.” I tried to explain that he needed to specifically tell them, so when we landed he said to the mother-in-law, “now Granny, we don’t eat pork you know” and left it at that. With a fridge full of ham, bacon and pork sausages I had a feeling that he would have to be a bit more explicit, but didn’t want to rock the boat, and Abu Yasmin assured me - we would be feeding Yasmin anyway.
So yesterday, Abu Yasmin and I left our three-year-old in the care of the grandparents while we drove the five-and-a-half hour trip to Cork Airport and back to pick up Abu Yasmin’s brother.  When we came back, Granny explained how Yasmin had thoroughly enjoyed the sausages she gave Yasmin for tea. Abu Yasmin and I became immediately alarmed as we both knew the only sausages in the house were pork sausages (with big letters spelling “PORK” on the wrapping). Abu Yasmin spluttered a bit while I headed for the bedroom so that I didn’t blow up and hit the roof.
“Granny, we told you Yasmin doesn’t eat pork.” Abu Yasmin said.
“She’s only a baby,” said Granny “she loved them.”
“But we told you Yasmin doesn’t eat pork.”
Then father-in-law Grandad - realising they’d made a bit of a mistake - expressed his belief that probably the pork sausages don’t actually contain pork, but are just *called* pork sausages.
I, of course, got cross at Abu Yasmin for not having been more explicit and actually telling the in-laws that they weren’t to *give* any pork to Yasmin. I don’t think Granny did it maliciously, but by not sitting down and explaining it properly, she probably thought “Yasmin doesn’t eat pork” means that Yasmin doesn’t like pork - much in the same way that she doesn’t eat pumpkin because she doesn’t like it - and whiptidee Granny has found some pork that Yasmin actually will eat.
The problem has been, is that we’ve never had a proper conversation explaining to the in-laws the whole Muslim thing. ‘Isn’t it obvious’ you might be thinking, but to make the in-laws feel more comfortable and not be confronted with the fact that they’re living with a Muslim, I’ve mostly been wearing caps rather than my normal ‘pinned under the chin’ headscarf.  But I am now starting to think minimising or hiding one’s Muslim-ness is not a great idea, precisely because situations like this occur.  Avoiding giving your children pork doesn’t make any sense unless it’s clearly explained to be a religious decision. *SIGH*.
A Melburnian Muslim convert blogs religion, academia and life in general.
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It seems we have a lot in common… My Lebanese-Australian wife had a great time meeting her in-laws in Scotland for the first time earlier this year. Everyone in my village commented on how fashionable her hat was!
“Muslim (and non-Muslim) readers - how would you have handled this?”
I would say that what’s done is done - no point making Abu Yasmin feel worse than he must already feel :)And as you already mentioned, there was no ill-intent of the part of the grands. And surely Allah
is Merciful. 
Overall, no harm done really.
Actually, the aftermath of the “incident” might have been a good time to explain to the in-laws exactly *why* little Yasmin wouldn’t be eating any pig-products. Of course, in some situations disclosing Muslim-ness is much easier said than done.
Dezhen: yes! Actually I think you can get away with more headgear in Ireland (and obviously Scotland) than in Australia. Must be the weather hahah.
Null: you’re right, I’m feeling a bit guilty for being so cross at Abu Yasmin now. The next day he did exactly that, and talked about the reason being ‘because of religion’. Didn’t mention too much of the Muslim thing, it’s a bit of the elephant in the room now LOL *sigh*.
Just 2 points.
1. I was very clear with the grand parents that pig products were a big no no. Umm Yasmin/Dervish/Prima Donna here is merely viewing a result, apportioning blame and revisioning history on the way.
2. Umm Yasmin toning down Muslim dress is a good one. She attended the social part of my grand mothers funeral in a very elaborate hijab, Sudanese I’m not mistaken, certainly majestic. Stood out well, certainly took the minds of the 70 ppl off of my recently interred gran.
Nice to hear a comment from the other “side” Abu Yasmin.
My parents were surprisingly “good” about it all; they made it clear that if anyone had a problem with her hijab, it was their own personal issue and that my wife shouldn’t give two hoots! Yet still, my wife decided to go for the less in-yer-face approach, being that it would be my family who have to deal with the gossip and other things once we leave.
The pork thing is sometimes quite difficult, especially if in a village setting (i.e. no Muslims or Jews around). We survived on a lot of fish!
Hehehe, Abu Yasmin is funny.
Dezhen: Your parents sound very cool.
We have had this issue as well. People do not know what “halal” means. We have found it helps to say that like Jews, we eat “kosher”. More people get this.
Having spent a lot of time in Ireland, as well as being German and German born, I have avoiding pork down to an artform. lol
I have had this same problem and am Christian. My husband and I take all of the scripture very seriously - but most ppl don’t’ consider anything but “ham” to be pork. There is no mental connection with “pork chops” or “pork sausage” or at times even bacon. We live in the southern states, and saying you don’t eat swine is like saying you don’t believe in God- we chose not to eat it in the same manner we don’t eat vulture or bat….because the Lord has said not to.
Hi Sunflower,
In some ways it must be even harder to not eat pork as a Christian, as people sort of (well most anyway) know that Jews and Muslims don’t eat pork, but a lot of people don’t know there are Christians that abstain for religious reasons too.
Lovely to meet you btw.!